Wednesday, 2 May 2012

I am done with me.

Dear Lord,

I am ashamed, I am embarrassed, I am disappointed with myself. Thank you for your harsh discipline that has opened my eyes to my own selfish and sinful ways. Losing the respect and love of those I deeply love is a pain that can be healed in time, but the pain I feel knowing that you are disappointed in me is too much to take. You say that you will give us the desires of our hearts if we truly commit ourselves to you and if we come to you with a pure heart........... but my words and actions did not come from the spirit. My flesh and desires were always in control. You know my heart, and you know my struggles and I know you won't give up on me. You are patient with your children. Forgive me Lord. Pluck me back out of the hole I dug for myself and place me back on a path of righteousness where I no longer speak.... but LIVE your Word. Let your word be a lamp to my feet and light to my path. I can not waste anymore time..... because the only person that will fall and feel the brutal wrath of sin will be me. I am filled with tears and immense sadness that comes from disappointing you............... but I know you will redeem me, have mercy on me and I know that by committing to you with all my heart, soul and mind, you will fulfill the beautiful plan you have for me. I am full of shame...... but I know you know my heart and my love for you. My love for you is real and for eternity, and NO ONE can strip that away from me. I am grateful for the pain and sadness I have felt recently because it has opened my eyes to my shame............... There can not be strength in faith without honesty.

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I pray that anyone who may be feeling this way, may be encouraged by the fact that God will not give up on His children, He will be patient, He will forgive, He will discipline.... yet He will always give us a way out. Don't let shame and guilt be used by the Devil to steer you away from God.... because the devil prowls like a lion and waits on times like these to pounce. Jesus took our shame away for us when He died on the cross. Regroup. Maintain focus on God. Be filled with Love. Be filled with the spirit of God that gives unmeasurable joy, peace and strength.

I ask for your prayers.


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