"He emptied Himself.... He humbled Himself..." Jesus showed the ultimate form of sacrifice and service. I ask myself with undeceiving honesty, do I truly humble myself through sacrifice and service?
"It is good for me, Lord, that Thou hast humbled me, that I may
learn Thy righteous judgements, and may cast away all haughtiness of heart and
all presumption."
- Thomas a Kempis
God has blessed me immensely by using His faithful children as instruments of blessing upon me. Since I come from a culture that stands proud for giving rather than receiving, accepting such blessings has not been easy. The force of my culture places pride in the way, drowning out the spirit's voice that this is a gift from God. This in turn leads me to feel a sense of shame rather than to give glory to God for His continued protection and faithfulness. However, I cling to the reminder that Jesus humbled Himself to the point of death for me. He threw away the powers of His status and independence. The Son of God asked a Samaritan woman for water. The King of Kings lived in other people's homes and on other people's money because He had none of His own. Our God had to be lent a boat, borrowed a donkey, and even being buried in a borrowed tomb. I stand ashamed in the face of God's great sacrifice and service when I allow myself to look at God's blessings with cultural pride.
Like man, culture was rooted in creation as a beautiful reflection of God's mighty works. Yet, like man, culture is drowning in sin. I am not interested in becoming nor reflecting the many layers of the Christian "culture." For these layers are man made, adding on to the core of who Jesus really is and what He asks us to be and do. Am I living for the Christian culture or am I living for Christ? Am I seeking to please Man or God? Has God's mission become "our" self-seeking mission? As I tear away the layers of culture that have been placed on both Jesus and I, I am left bare in the garden with my God- left to ask a simple question - Am I obeying you Lord? The tragedy is that we often seek the knowledge of faith without the obedience of faith. What good is the knowledge of faith without obedience to act it out? A tragedy indeed.
Has the loudness of people and even my own voice drowned out God's instructions about what I am to do for His mission? Have I allowed people, my own self-seeking ambitions, this world and even Christianity to distort Jesus? I want to be naked in the presence of God - bare in truth and identity. How do I truly know I am walking in the will of God? His word, light and fragrance will lead me and draw me to HIM - not the mission, but to HIM because HE is the mission. I will know in my silent moments of deep honesty and prayer. I will know when I wrap myself with the word of God. I will know when I feel Godly peace and joy as I "live" out my faith.
Maybe I need to just shut up and stop asking so many questions. Yet, I feel that it is God who is challenging me with them - answering my prayer to truly know Him, His mission and how He wants to use me. Books, Christians, Ministry leaders and even the church serve as resources for spiritual direction - true. However, I would rather have clarity from God Himself and His word - the true authority and the only truth.
