Ultimately I feel I disappoint myself, because I am in the driver's seat.  By telling myself that everyone disappoints me, I place the locus of control outside of myself and I don't accept that... there is no experience that compares to the misery of truly being disappointed in yourself. It feels like something breaks inside you. I think it is much worse than when someone else disappoints you. In those moments you know that you couldn't act according to your own principles, and this makes you feel weak.

 Stop, pray, ask for guidance and be honest with yourself.
Forgive yourself. Move on.
Make a plan that is according to God's will.
Don’t let it happen again, pray for strength, maturity and wisdom.
Start now.