For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.
(2 Timothy 4:6-8)
After I read this passage from 2 Timothy, I closed my eyes and I did my best to place the state of my heart, mind and spirit in the place of Paul's who was now drawing near to his end. In this moment, we meet a lonely, suffering servant of God who nonetheless looks to his eternal place with God with great anticipation.The moment that we commit our lives as soldiers to the cause of Christ, we have offered up ourselves to a life lived in constant battle. He has enlisted us for His sake, building up an army of faithful and obedient soldiers willing to be ridiculed by a word hostile to God's eternal truth.
I ponder the complexity of what we are to expect and face. I pray that God blesses my life of obedience, but I constantly remind myself that I must not for a moment think that I "expect" such blessings as a reward for my obedience. (Hebrews 11) We must not get comfortable with blessings because when hardships and trials interrupt our comfortably Christian lives, we stand in shock as if something strange were happening to us. What's worse is that when our life is tested or jabbed, we ask God why...? WHY??!! We might as well say to God, "Lord, I thought because I love and serve you, you are suppose to bless all my ways. Why have you brought on this fierce storm upon my life?" This is a soldier who has prepared for battle in the mind alone, and does not actually expect to go out into the battle field to "live" out his faith. He has stored up knowledge in his mind without obedience in his heart. It is easier and safer to merely know than to do. This again is the knowledge of faith without the courage to have the obedience of faith to go along with it. When King David's son is announced dead, He immediately worships God. When Job is told that his children are all killed, he falls to the floor and worships. I pray that WHEN I face great loss, that I will not ask the disobedient question of "why," but rather I will fall to the floor and worship.
In essence, the hardships and teachings of the Bible become mere "slogans" that go along with our Christian titles without true merit. "We live by faith and not by sight" We know this, but do we truly live it? Do we truly live out and work out our faith? We stand in shock, confusion and often in anger towards God when we need to actually live out what we preach. Me included. My reflection is that when all things are well and going according to plan without any suffering, THAT is when we should worry! The enemy is deceitful and very smart. We are deceived by the illusions of blessings. We assume that because life is tied around with a pretty bow, that we are in God's good book; pleasing Him. Have you ever thought that sometimes what we see as blessings is a ploy from the world and enemy to distract us from our actual call, duty and sacrifice to God? Have you ever thought that your supposed blessed life is actually a scheme by God's counterfeit Kingdom to keep you in a spiritual state of disillusionment? We love to blame the enemy when things do not go according to plan or when we are faced with obstacles or grief. We give Satan too much credit. Ever think that Satan IS actually causing you pain in a life that actually looks blessed? I know if the blessing is from my Lord when it draws me near to Him, keeping my eyes on Him and my mission. Do not be fooled to "think" you are filled with joy, but in actuality, you are preoccupied with the blessings from the world. Therefore, we must remember and discern what is "Godly joy" from what is "worldly joy." I often pray, "Lord, do not let me deceived in my faith!"
If you have not felt the pain of life, then you have not felt the wound of Christ. If you want to avoid suffering at all costs, then you want the blessings without the responsibilities. The heart piercing question then arises, "Can you truly say that you would die for a savior that died for you?"
In essence, the hardships and teachings of the Bible become mere "slogans" that go along with our Christian titles without true merit. "We live by faith and not by sight" We know this, but do we truly live it? Do we truly live out and work out our faith? We stand in shock, confusion and often in anger towards God when we need to actually live out what we preach. Me included. My reflection is that when all things are well and going according to plan without any suffering, THAT is when we should worry! The enemy is deceitful and very smart. We are deceived by the illusions of blessings. We assume that because life is tied around with a pretty bow, that we are in God's good book; pleasing Him. Have you ever thought that sometimes what we see as blessings is a ploy from the world and enemy to distract us from our actual call, duty and sacrifice to God? Have you ever thought that your supposed blessed life is actually a scheme by God's counterfeit Kingdom to keep you in a spiritual state of disillusionment? We love to blame the enemy when things do not go according to plan or when we are faced with obstacles or grief. We give Satan too much credit. Ever think that Satan IS actually causing you pain in a life that actually looks blessed? I know if the blessing is from my Lord when it draws me near to Him, keeping my eyes on Him and my mission. Do not be fooled to "think" you are filled with joy, but in actuality, you are preoccupied with the blessings from the world. Therefore, we must remember and discern what is "Godly joy" from what is "worldly joy." I often pray, "Lord, do not let me deceived in my faith!"
If you have not felt the pain of life, then you have not felt the wound of Christ. If you want to avoid suffering at all costs, then you want the blessings without the responsibilities. The heart piercing question then arises, "Can you truly say that you would die for a savior that died for you?"
I take my thoughts and emotions back to Paul, sitting chained in prison, waiting unashamed for his end. When the hardships, hard work, joys, pains, blessings, loss and all that jazz come to an end, will I continue to look to my eternal place with God with eager anticipation knowing that I did everything I could as His faithful servant? Will I dream about looking upon the face of my Father in heaven without doubt and shame as He says, "Well done my loyal and faithful servant." In my last moment of breath and life, will I feel absolute conviction that I gave all my strength to a fight that I already knew had been won? Victory is already ours, yet I give praise to every tear, pain, and affliction in exchange for giving glory to God. Will I close my eyes one last time with passion filled contentment and fulfillment, knowing I did the will of my Father? I pray so. I desperately pray so.
We are often consumed by the thoughts of what we need to do in our roles as ambassadors to the Great Commission, and we rightly should. However, it is good for the spirit for us to measure our steps by asking, "In all that I am doing and in all that I have already done for the Lord in strength and joy.... is it leading me towards an end that will give Him full glory and give me eternal peace in knowing that I did all that I could?" Will I be able to say with fullness of heart, mind and spirit that I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."? I desperately pray so.
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