“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil” (Psalm 23:4).

We each live our lives with our own measure of uncertainties and tragedies. To compare mine with yours and vice versa would not be fair and the emotional burden can not be compared. The source of each of our pains differ, but the desperate cries for God to heal the afflicted wounds echos the same, pleading for God's mercy.

I can not imagine nor do I allow my mind to ponder the anguish of a woman's heart who watches her husband....the love of her life, her protector, and her best friend, face the uncertainty of cancer. I watch this burden upon my two sisters in Christ. I watch unwavering love and strength.

I can not imagine nor do I allow my mind to ponder what the state of a daughter's heart would be if she were to helplessly watch her mother slowly wither away into death's arms. I witnessed this today. I witnessed unwavering love and strength.

I can not imagine nor do I allow my mind to ponder what the state of a husband's heart would be if he were to powerlessly face his wife slowly wither away into death's mercy. I witnessed this today. I witnessed unwavering love and strength.

Where is the hope? Well, the Bible says, "Our hope lies beyond the grave" (Proverbs 11:17)

In a matter of a few days, through the unfortunate and heart sinking realities that face my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, I wonder..... Is God trying to speak to me through this? Does it take me seeing a fellow Christian suffering more than I, to realize that my situation is not that bad? Yet, I must be careful to not deny or minimize my own pain and suffering in relation to another. I must acknowledge and look at my pain in the eye. I must accept it. I must find God's hope and purpose in it. I must seek peace and strength in Christ. I must REMEMBER the absolute suffering, betrayal and rejection that Christ endured!!!! So, for HIS sake, I will rejoice when I face trials knowing that it will draw me closer to Him; throwing me into the loving arms of my merciful Lord. We are little children, and our Father in heaven keeps near to the brokenhearted and He reaches down and grabs His children when they begin to sink in sorrows deep waters.

Pastor Jeff Adams made a comment today during his sermon that resonated with me deeply: If there is something that is holding you back from truly giving yourself to God, let it go. I believe that it can also include "someone."  At ALL times, the focus of a spiritual life should be on the kingdom!!! Once I can keep my attention firmly fixated on my eternal place in the kingdom of heaven, then "other" matters that have the potential to steer my focus away will no longer cast a shadow over my spiritual walk with the Lord.

For the last month, I prayed for God to prepare and guard my heart. I not just prayed, I begged. He is so faithful.  He showed me not only what real suffering is through the struggles that my friends are facing, but more importantly, He allowed me to witness what REAL Love is through them. Now I know that my tears are being wasted on earthly love, not a spiritual love that only comes from the presence of God.

I am beyond grateful. I am beyond blessed. My Lord continues to shine His love and protection upon me in the most powerful and obvious of ways, especially when the heart throbs. He is always near....... Although my soul is embittered and I was pricked in the heart, my lips will not speak deceit and "I will walk with integrity of heart..." (Psalm 101:2)

God spoke to me yesterday through this Bible verse: "He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord. His heart is steady; he will not be afraid, until he looks in triumph on his adversaries." (Psalm 112:7-8) Thank you for preparing me Lord.

Thank you Lord for being my eternal shield, my rock, my protector, my redeemer..... my love. Under your wings Lord is where I will take refuge because "His faithfulness is a shield and buckler" (Psalm 91:4)

"I know in part then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known"

My thoughts and prayers are with my brothers and sisters in Christ who are battling a fight against cancer. We are prayer warriors and we will be lifting you up in prayer. God and His timing are INTENTIONAL, and every joy and suffering serves to draw us closer to Him..... to show us that we are DESPERATELY NEEDY OF HIM.  We desperately need you Lord, for I can not do anything apart from you!


Praise to our splendid, magnificent and merciful Lord.